Yo Momma's SO Fat...

when she dances she makes the band skip.

when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave her 13 years to live.

she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

her butt has its own congressman.

her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.

when she goes to the zoo the elephants throw her peanuts.

her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.

her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."

the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.

all the restaurants in town have signs that say "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama".

YO' MOMMA SO FAT...

• YO' MOMMA SO FAT...

  • she rocked herself to sleep trying to get up!
  • when she got on the scale, it said "one at a time please!"
  • when she steps on the scale, it said "to be continued!"
  • she wakes up in sections!
  • when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up!
  • when she goes to cross the street, all the other trucks think she's a truck so they don't stop!
  • she drives a "double wide," complete with "wide load" signs across the back!
  • when she stepped on a scale, it said "one person at a time!"
  • she uses a shovel as a spoon and a rake as a fork!
  • when she steps on a scale, it says Slimfast!
  • when she wore a yellow jumpsuit, somebody yelled "TAXI!!"
  • when she went swimming in the ocean, the whales started singing "We Are Family!"
  • when she drives a car, she uses her belly to hit the gas and break pedals!
  • she steps on a scale and it says "dinosaurs are exstinct!"
  • she doesn't walk - she rolls!
  • whenever an airplane runs into her, she says "Who's throwing rocks?!"
  • when she jumps up in the air, she gets stuck!

  YO' MOMMA SO STUPID...

  • she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jiff!

  YO' MOMMA SO UGLY...

  • when I took her to the zoo, the lady at the entrance said "Thanks for bringing her back!"
  • if ugly were bricks, she'd have her own hood!
  • they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower!
  • she trick-or-reats over the phone!
  • the trick was the treat!
  • she doesn't need a mask for Halloween!
  • she didn't need a mask to rob the bank!

  YO' MOMMA SO OLD...

  • when she went to school, there was no history class!
  • I told her to act her own age and she died!

  YO' MOMMA SO POOR...

  • when someone closed the freezer door, she said "Who turned off the heat?!"

  YO' MOMMA SO GREASY...

  • she makes anchovies look bad!

  YO' MOMMA'S TEETH SO YELLOW...

  • traffic slows down when she smiles!

  YOU SO UGLY...

  • when you came out of yo' momma, the doctor looked at your butt, then your face, and said "siamese twins!"

• Yo' Momma so OLD, even God calls her mother!

  Yo' Momma so FAT, if you measured her height and her width she'd be taller sideways!!!

  Yo' Momma so fat, I had to hire me a rodeo clown to distract her when I brought in the groceries!

  Yo' Momma is so STUPID, she got hit by a parked car!

  Yo' Momma so STUPID, on her job application where it says, "Do not write below the dotted line," she wrote, "Okay."

  Yo' Momma so STUPID, she tried to alphabatize M&M's.

  Yo' Momma so stupid, she walked by the YMCA and said, "Look, baby, they spelled Macy's wrong."

  Yo' Momma so ugly... Man, look at you fool!

  And my personal favorite...

  Yo' Momma so UGLY, when she cries, the tears run down the back of her head 'cause they're afraid of her face!!!!

• Yo' Momma's so fat...

  • When she sat on the rainbow, skittles popped out!
  • When she walked out of the house, everyone thought there was a total eclipse!
  • When she sweats, she sweats butter.
  • When she sat down, everyone thought it was the destruction of the world.
  • When she sat on a dallor bill, four quarters poped out!
  • When she jumped up, she got stuck in the air!
  • If she buys a fur coat, the species will become extinct.
  • Even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction.
  • She has been declared a natural habitat for Condors.
  • When she gets on the scale, it says "we don't do livestock"
  • The back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.
  • She was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
  • Her butt looks like two pigs fighting over a milk dud.
  • The shadow of her butt weighs 50 pounds.

  yo momma so fat... you have to roll her in flour to find her wet spot!

  • You're so ugly that when you were born, the doctor slapped yo' momma!